Whoever invented the selfie stick must be a billionaire by now. I recently got back from traveling to Israel for a family wedding and then Greece to spend time with family and friends. It was a great trip. In Greece I spent most of my time in Oia on Santorini. You’d recognize the town from calendar photos even if you don’t know the name. The place is stunning with pastel houses nestled into the hillside, overlooking the Mediterranean. Everywhere I went I saw tourists taking selfies like their whole trip revolved around it. Just being in this beautiful place wasn’t enough. They wanted to show it off to the folks at home, former co-workers, and old friends they haven’t seen since high school.
This desire for external validation and “fame” is all part of what I call the Big Me movement. Big Me is about curating the perception of you on social media. It means playing the role of celebrity and paparazzi. It means broadcasting a very specific side of your life and pretending that the dull moments, disappointments and insecurities don’t exist.
We live in the Big Me generation, but we can choose another route instead. I call it the “Under the Radar Route.” I love this route. One of the most well-connected and powerful friends I have, taught me a long time ago to come across as the “little guy.”
Here are some ideas to play with getting less external validation.
2. Help a co-worker, business partner, or loved one with something big, and don’t take any credit for it. In fact, give them all the credit.
3. Simplify your life. Less is more. No need to keep up with your neighbors, you only need to keep up with you. When I sold my house and downsized my possessions and the people in my life, I was way happier. I realized I got a lot more out of life once I was surrounded by quality people who taught me things and who I really care about. Also talk less. I talk a lot in a work context, but outside I try and listen more.
4. Cut back on social media. My social media pages suck and that’s a good thing. Seriously, they don’t represent me at all because I’ve stopped actively adding to them all the time.
Enjoy the moments you have. Take pictures for nostalgia or to share with loved ones who really do care. Be aware of your motivations. Before you click, ask yourself why you’re posting something and what a “like” means to you. If it’s too much for other people, try reining in that Big Me mentality and living your life for you.
Have other ideas for putting Big Me in check and weaning ourselves off external validation? I’d love to hear from you.