Everyone’s been there—trying to make a good first impression on someone you find attractive but feeling unsure of how to do it, not knowing what to say, or how you should approach.
“What’s wrong with being confident?”
“Confident” flirting expert, Demi Lovato
Nothing, Demi!
There’s nothing wrong with being confident, especially when you’re working up the nerve to flirt or hit send on that flirty message.
The first step to successful flirting is always confidence.
In this guide, you will learn how to project confident body language, make eye contact, start conversations, and use humor effectively—all while being your authentic self.
Why is Being Confident Attractive?
Confidence is attractive because it shows trustworthiness, stability, self-assurance, optimism, and a supportive attitude. People see confident individuals as reliable and capable of creating positive and secure relationships. And as with much in life, confidence in flirting comes from practice.
Recent studies have shown that men who received a speed-dating tutorial were perceived as significantly more romantically desirable and worthy of future contact compared to those who did not receive any tutorial.
Practice getting to know new people leads to this confidence. Rather than dominance or status, being confident was the key factor driving these positive perceptions.
Confidence Leads To:
- Self-assurance: Confidence makes you more attractive and approachable.
- Authenticity: Being confident helps you stay true to yourself, which leads you to the right people, opportunities, and situations.
- Positive interactions: Confident flirting leads to more enjoyable and meaningful conversations.
How to Flirt with Confidence
Flirting with confidence involves a mix of authenticity, respect, and playfulness. By following these principles, you’ll not only feel more at ease but also make a lasting impression.
1. Project Confident Body Language
Confident open body language can make a major difference in how you are perceived. Stand up straight, keep your shoulders relaxed, and avoid crossing your arms. Make eye contact and smile genuinely.
Eye contact and a genuine smile can go a long way in making you appear more approachable and interested. A 2021 study found that eye contact, a smile, and a tilted head are often signs of flirtation. These simple actions can make you seem more attractive and trustworthy.
2. Initiate a Conversation with a Thoughtful Compliment or Engaging Observation
Begin with a sincere compliment that goes beyond physical appearance. Notice something unique about their personality, style, or interests. You can also start with an interesting observation about your surroundings to spark conversation.
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions and Get to Know Them Better
People enjoy talking about themselves, so ask relationship-oriented questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Ask about their passions, dreams, or recent experiences. Be genuinely curious and show interest in their responses.
4. Use Humor and Light Teasing
Humor can break the ice and create a playful connection. Use lighthearted jokes or witty banter and observations to make the interaction fun. Gentle teasing, done with good intentions, can also create a flirty dynamic.
5. Be an Active Listener
Show genuine interest in what the other person has to say. Pay attention to their stories, ask follow-up questions, and make eye contact. This will help you build rapport and show that you value their thoughts and opinions.
6. Be Yourself
Authenticity is key to successful flirting. Don’t try to be someone you’re not or pretend to have interests you don’t. Be genuine and let your true personality shine through.
7. Go with the Flow
Don’t overthink or try to force the conversation. Relax, enjoy the moment. Be outcome independent and let the interaction develop naturally. Be responsive to the other person’s cues and adapt your approach accordingly.
Common Concerns & Frequently Asked Questions About Confident Flirting
How can I overcome nervousness when flirting?
Remember that everyone feels nervous sometimes. Take a deep breath, focus on the present moment, and remind yourself of your positive qualities. Start with a simple compliment or observation to break the ice. Being aware of different flirting styles and techniques like mirroring can help you find common ground early in any romantic interaction.
How can I tell if my flirting is being reciprocated?
Look for positive body language cues like sustained eye contact, smiling, and leaning in. Noticing how they initiate conversation, ask questions, or playfully tease can all be ways to know when someone is really into you.
What if I get rejected while flirting?
Rejection is a natural part of dating and social interactions. Don’t take it personally. Instead, view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Remember, there are plenty of other fish in the sea!
How can I build my flirting confidence?
Practice makes perfect! Start by flirting with friends or in low-pressure situations. Focus on having fun and connecting with others. The more you practice, the more confident you’ll become.
How Jaunty Can Help You Build Confidence in Flirting
If you’re looking for a supportive and structured approach to enhance your flirting skills and confidence, Jaunty offers a variety of programs designed to help you develop the social skills necessary for successful flirting.
- Live Virtual Classes: Participate in interactive sessions led by experienced instructors, where you’ll learn and practice flirting techniques in a safe and encouraging environment.
- The Jaunty Gym: Engage in 25-minute “workouts” focused on specific social skills, including flirting. Practice with other members and receive guidance from instructors to build your confidence and improve your interactions.
- Cohort-Based Courses: Enroll in comprehensive courses that cover a wide range of social skills, including flirting, dating, and building deeper connections. These courses provide in-depth instruction, community support, and personalized feedback to help you achieve your goals.
- Supportive Community: Connect with other members who are also working on improving their social skills. Share experiences, offer encouragement, and build lasting friendships with people who understand your journey.
Jaunty’s Social Skills Masterclass will empower you with the knowledge, practice, and support you need to flirt with confidence and build meaningful connections with others.
