How to Build Your own Posse


By Eric Waisman

This blog was originally published in Jaunty’s June newsletter while Eric was living in New York City for a few months.

I’d like to share the trick I have been using to explode my social circle. In the first few weeks here, I have already been invited to countless rooftop parties, been asked to speak at two large events and was invited by the head of the air conditioning mafia to his mansion for a dinner party. Yep, that happened. Here’s what I have been doing and you can do it too.

Using our Jaunty skills I have been meeting a ton of people through WeWork, my roommates’ friends, at parks, bars, cafes, on the subway, and of course…on the street. At some point in the conversation I bring up that I am new to NYC.

If you are not new to your city you can say, “I’m looking to get out and meet new people”, or that you are always looking out for a new adventure.

Then I say I would love for them to let me know about all of the great events they know of in the city. I frame it as though they are connected to insider stuff, (which everyone is to a certain extent,) and that they have status by having such cool resources. So I straight out ask them to invite me to everything! If you are using your conversational agility skills as we teach at Jaunty, a good percentage of the people will start inviting you to stuff.


Now here is where the magic comes in. Let’s say I met 20 people and asked them all to invite me to their fun events and let’s say five start inviting me to things. I will invite everyone (all 20 minus the person who invited me) to all of the events from the five (unless it’s a private house party). So even for all of the other 15 people that have not invited me to anything, now I am, out of the blue, inviting them to a bunch of cool stuff. That makes them start inviting me to things too.

Plus, I am now showing up to the events with a bunch of people I know and I can start introducing people to each other. This has been a crucial piece of my building my social circle here. My new and old friends here are calling it “Eric’s Posse.”

This is the power of showing vulnerability up front. You ask people to take you under their wing, and turn it around and take them under your wing. Getting invites feel great and being able to invite people you’ve just met to events feels awesome. Try it out and let me know how it goes.


Photo credit: General Assembly

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